Monday, 6 September 2010

Attractive Female seeks Pic'n'mix Purchaser G.S.O.H

‘Why don’t you have a boyfriend?’ A familiar question and one I have heard far too often recently. My parents, friends, and even across the road neighbours are all curious to know why I remain unattached. Why don’t I have a boyfriend? The answer to that is that I do not know. I am nice, funny (sometimes) and reasonably attractive albeit with a slightly squint face. I can cook, I drink pints (of cider) and I like Jackie Chan films yet I remain perpetually single.

Being single is easy and this post isn’t necessarily a complaint, however, at this stage in my life I am beginning to feel the invisible pressure to be in a relationship or even the semblance of a relationship. At 23 my mother was just about to meet my father, people I went to school with are getting engaged all over Facebook and one of my best friends has just bought a dog with her other half despite being vehemently opposed to canine creatures a matter of months ago. I know that I am too young for all of that nonsense and far too selfish but maybe a boyfriend would be nice for a bit. I do fancy the idea of an extra set of Christmas presents and possibly a romantic city break. Any sort of city break for that matter.

My plight is made all the more difficult when my super close family get together, I am the eldest of eleven cousins but I will certainly not be the first to be wed. Even my 19-year-old brother has a long term girlfriend and he is a monosyllabic creature whose idea of romance is a takeaway and a night in watching Ultimate Big Brother. At a recent social gathering my mum told me just to bring a man, ANY man. The subtext: she wanted people to stop thinking she’d brought up some weirdo who couldn’t find a mate. Oh the desperation...

The kind people say that perhaps it is my beauty that scares people off, but they are usually biased, and almost always drunk. Perhaps I am too fussy, and a little unlucky but really the only downside to being single is nobody paying for your pic‘n’mix at the pictures. And my mum says when I’m single at 30 I can always try internet dating. Great.

I will settle for this MICHAEL KORS 'Boyfriend' style watch over the real thing any day.

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